More first world problems

Not that I’m complaining about moving. No, these are not complaints, but merely observations of annoyances, the type that could crop up at any time, not just when disrupting your life voluntarily. But they are annoyances none the less, and what better thing to do about an annoyance or two than to share them with others.

1. I got slipcovers for some of the furniture when I moved. This was a good thing because not only did it grant a new lease on life to a perfectly good couch and chair, it cost much less than reupholstering. The bad news is it still cost quite a bit. The other bad news is the cats, who are dealing with an involuntary disruption of the universe, have decided to calm their nerves by using the newly slip-covered expanses to sharpen their claws.

2. To deal with problem #1, I bought a brand new not-entirely-hideous-but-not-exactly-something-you-would-like-to-see-in-the-middle-of-your-livingroom scratching post. The law of the scratching post is that the amount of use it will get is exactly inverse to the amount of money it cost multiplied by the amount of damage the cats have already caused to innocent furniture. Also, whoever came up with the brilliant idea that carpet is a good surface for a scratching post forgot to notice that cats are not able to distinguish between carpet you want them to scratch and carpet you don’t.

3. I have two or three yoga classes left on my pass for the yoga studio in my old neighbourhood. To use up these classes means walking 10 minutes to the subway, taking the subway four stops, changing trains and travelling another three stops. Time invested: 35 minutes each way, plus the hour and a half spent doing yoga. Of course if I lived in the burbs I would have to drive my car to a yoga studio in a strip mall, set between a pool hall and a Walmart, and not exactly an ambience suitable for stilling one’s mind. So forget I mentioned this problem. Namaste.

4. I now have to drive to the grocery store. This means I have to park at the grocery store. In a grocery store parking lot. Grocery store parking lots were all designed by someone with less than a full grasp of how big a car is. It is impossible to get in and out of a parking spot without putting the side mirrors of your and everyone’s cars in mortal peril. It is also impossible to navigate between the rows of cars to get in or out of the lot when someone is waiting to snag an elusive spot (because the person who designs grocery store parking lots also has no idea how many people need to buy groceries in any given week, which would typically be all of us). On the plus side, when you avoid going to the grocery store you save a lot on groceries.

5. I have walls. Lots of walls. Lots of newly painted walls that look very, very blank. I have art. Lots of art. Lots of art that looked good in various places in previous dwellings. The problem is that when you have too much of something it is doubly hard to figure out where to put it. Maybe the answer is rotating exhibits. Maybe January through March is abstract expressionism and spring is the time to break out the post modernists. Maybe I should hire a curator. Maybe this is too trivial to even qualify as a first world problem.

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