Looking at life through a funhouse mirror
I continue to indulge in my suburbanly-incorrect practice of brazenly walking to places like the grocery store. Naturally, this is preferably accomplished via sidewalks. Naturally, suburbia persists in its relentless mission to kill me by blocking off said sidewalks. This is due to the ongoing efforts to rehabilitate the thoroughfare known as Yonge Street (AKA …
My ongoing subversive plot to get kicked out of suburbia continues to bear fruit. Yesterday, a Municipal Enforcement and Community Standards Officer paid a visit to follow up on a complaint. I suspect the snitch was the same neighbour who ratted out my non-compliant cats. Anyhow, the egregious offence is the Lift-Rite that lives in …
In case the news escaped you, as of October 10 the Canadian Broadcasting Company is not longer airing the National Research Council’s official time signal every day at 1:00 p.m. Eastern time. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, I’ll explain. For the past 80 years, at precisely one hour past noon, …
What you probably thought I was going to talk about is s’mores by the campfire or jumping off rocks into the lake (okay, I’ve never done this but people much, much, braver than I have) or staying up late (or getting up early) to see the Perseids meteor shower or complaining about the neighbours across …
The minute the hummingbird feeder went up, I had customers, and it appears they are the same assholes as last year, chasing each other away even though there is more than enough to go around. Luckily, the racoons (the other assholes) have not yet made an appearance, so the feeder has remained unmolested. I am …
This is the time of year I usually refer to as “the southbound march of the condiments.” Not this year. I have decided to reconsider my cottage closing tactics. Perhaps forever. Do you know what happens when the bottles and jars that survived the summer arrive in my winter kitchen? Yes, you do. They play …
Very excited to announce the second installment of my memoirs (what? am I somebody important? who the heck keeps writing about herself? hint: I do), How I Invented the Internet, available September 30, 2022 wherever fine books are sold online (softcover and eBook, and in case you missed it, all of the above plus audiobook …
As you may know, I am now down to one cat. In case you were not aware (and in my own defense), I only had two. Also in my own defense, there was only one period in my life when I had more than two, which was when I lived with my ex-husband and a …
Sometime in mid-winter (or most likely before that), at least one raccoon moved into our attic, as evidenced by scratching noises emanating from the living room and bedroom ceilings. The upper reaches of the living room were the preferred hangout for cocktail hour, while the sector of the attic over the bedroom was typically active …
If someone were to review my dreams, they would probably give them one star at best. Repetitive, they would say. Not much of a discernable plot, they would say. Derivative, they would say. Nothing at all that’s remotely inventive. Here’s why. There’s the one about the final exam I have not studied for, which is …