I don’t like Mondays

I have a huge issue I must disclose. I don’t like a third of the year. I don’t like November, December, January or February. I have just come to terms with the fact that this is not a good thing. When you get to the second part of your life it is not acceptable to be wishing a fast passage through a large swath of the days that remain. But I can defend my position (and of course you knew that).


This month has many things to not recommend it . Movember would be one reason, but that’s an easy target. The real problems with November are the darkness (standard time, I’m talking to you), the darkness (oh, I think I mentioned that already), and the cold rain. And the fact I now need to figure out what I wear when I can’t have bare feet. November, you are not my friend.


Which brings me to you, December. Yes, I have many friends who call you a friend. But you are not my friend, my friend. Here’s why. First of all, if I hear Little Drummer Boy again (especially the one involving David Bowie – that was just wrong) I will do something that will show up on the 6 o’clock news. Second, you always drag your agenda into November. I’m expecting the onslaught of Little Drummer Boy on the in-store sound track any day now. And third, I still can’t wear bare feet


It may be a little early to mention this because you are so next year, but I am sure you know of what I speak. My biggest issue with you is the darkness and the requirement to wear many layers of clothing that I have already started to hate. Even the boots I bought at the sale in December that looked so cute and now have salt stains and have revealed that water proof was only wishful thinking. Forget about April, you are truly the cruellest month.


The one redeeming feature of February is that the days have become perceptibly longer. This means we are bringing in the light of day around 7:45 am and don’t have to turn the lights back on again until at least 5pm. But that is one of your more redeeming qualities, Mr. February. I hesitate to point out your less stellar attributes but I need to serve the public good. Remember those winter clothes? Do you know how much we hate them? Do you know how much you torment us with your February thaw? Of course you do.

So now I start to hunker down and cross days off the calendar. The bad news is winter isn’t even here yet. The good news is every day gone is one day closer to spring.

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