Looking at life through a funhouse mirror
In my own defense, I am far from a Luddite. I have been paid lots of money to tell people what technology they should use and why. However, I am a practical person. I do not need new gadgets just for the sake of new gadgets. My iPhone 5 was doing just fine up until …
I agree with John McAfee. Actually, let me qualify that. I do not agree with John McAfee that Russian roulette is fun for the whole family. I do not agree that poisoning your neighbour’s dogs is a appropriate way to handle a property line dispute. And, I do not agree with evading taxes. Avoiding, maybe, …
The good news: the hummingbirds are back. The bad news: the racoons are back. It is possible that I aided and abetted the latter because of my method of composting, which involves flinging vegetable peelings over the deck railing into the forest at large. In my own defense, the height of the deck provides the …
This important news item may have escaped your notice in the past couple of weeks, and I completely understand why. There have been many news-worthy things going on than journalism space to recount them. Some prince and his not-good-enough-to-be-a-princess wife and their not-allowed-to-be-a-prince son (except when he will be, which will happen when said prince’s …
It has come to my attention that I am not the only household harbouring criminals. There have been two usurpers prowling in the backyard lately, a gray tabby and a calico. Henry oversees all of this from his perch on the railing of the second-floor deck. He likes to sit on the northeast corner in …
This is a suburban status report because the cottage is a wrap for 2020. That means we are now entering the phase of ‘things I’m pretty sure I forgot to bring home.’ These things reveal themselves slowly and it will likely take the entirety of winter for them to make themselves fully known. The upside …
There is such a thing as a double-decker pontoon boat. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Except for one thing. Double-decker pontoon boats remind me of Dolly Parton’s height-defying wig. It catches the eye, but is completely unnecessary and possibly dangerous. The wake from the excessively prevalent wake-boats spring to mind. But what …
The red squirrel that Dennis caught the other day, down by the dock while I was swimming, has thankfully, I assume, been repurposed as dinner for a bird of prey. Maybe one of the ravens (are they birds of prey? Henry seems to think they are and makes sure to steer clear of them.) Anyhow, …
“Salads! A cool relief on a hot summer’s day!” the food magazine says. I am here to tell you this is not true. Not the eating of the salads, which is actually a very good idea, heat or no heat. It’s the making of the salads that is a completely ridiculous thing to do when …
Why is it that when I wake up in the middle of the night (which usually corresponds with when Dennis decides he wants to go out), all of my hundred bug bites start itching simultaneously? Furthermore, why is it that I have so many bug bites, and why do they swell up to the size …