The dock spider was waiting when we pulled up in the tin boat to wake the cottage from its winter slumber. Actually, that’s not quite accurate. One of the dock spiders was waiting. The rest of the extended family was probably still asleep. Australian mutants not-withstanding, dock spiders reset anyone’s notion of what “big […]
Cottage Status Report 20240427 Read More »
Apparently, hotels can’t build suites (as opposed to run-of-the-mill hotel rooms) fast enough to keep up with the demand. I guess the Russian mafia is still solvent and rock stars will always need enough room to house their entourage and hangers-on in the manner to which they have become accustomed. Those of us who
I’ve launched on a Marie Kondo-ish spree, decluttering closets and cupboards. My rule is if it hasn’t been touched in five years, its useful life is over, at least in my universe. Especially if it’s clothing. All of the suit jackets, even ones with exquisite buttons that look like intricate knots, even conservatively pinstriped ones
Dennis was born in a barn, or if maybe not exactly in a barn, born barn-adjacent on someone’s horse farm. But if he had put his elbows on the Sunday dinner table and his mother had said “were you born in a barn?” he would have said yes actually, I was born in a barn.
Like many of my boomer cohort, I am in deep denial with respect to my chronological age. In my head, I am in my early forties, officially grownup but still able to stay out way too late on a school night without dire consequences. The money the government sends me every month tells a different
I continue to indulge in my suburbanly-incorrect practice of brazenly walking to places like the grocery store. Naturally, this is preferably accomplished via sidewalks. Naturally, suburbia persists in its relentless mission to kill me by blocking off said sidewalks. This is due to the ongoing efforts to rehabilitate the thoroughfare known as Yonge Street (AKA
Suburban Status Report 20231203 Read More »
Despite what our tour guide said, Cairo is not the third largest city in the world, only the 15th. Perhaps she meant the third noisiest, and if that’s the case, I sincerely don’t want to visit the second or first place winner. Traffic in Cairo clogs the streets all day and all night, and I’m
My ongoing subversive plot to get kicked out of suburbia continues to bear fruit. Yesterday, a Municipal Enforcement and Community Standards Officer paid a visit to follow up on a complaint. I suspect the snitch was the same neighbour who ratted out my non-compliant cats. Anyhow, the egregious offence is the Lift-Rite that lives in
Suburban Status Report 20231029 Read More »
In case the news escaped you, as of October 10 the Canadian Broadcasting Company is not longer airing the National Research Council’s official time signal every day at 1:00 p.m. Eastern time. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, I’ll explain. For the past 80 years, at precisely one hour past noon,
There are typically two times of the year when things break: the beginning of cottage season and the end of cottage season. Neither of these times is more preferable to the other. When we arrive in the spring, it’s pretty much a given that some things that were perfectly fine at close-up have decided not
Cottage Status Report 20231001 Read More »
