Today, I unearthed (un-snowed?) my Globe and Mail newspaper from February 7. I wasn’t completely sure what had happened to it at the time, but suspected it had been plowed under the windrow at the side of the driveway, and indeed that is what had happened. And that got me thinking. Where did the word […]
Suburban Status Report 20250330 Read More »
When we got back from the cottage on Wednesday night, there was a Canada Post ‘pick up a parcel’ slip attached to the front door. This was decidedly odd. Normally, the mailman leaves any parcels in the parcel sequestering area of the super mailbox. This being suburbia, mail does not arrive on its own to
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I continue to indulge in my suburbanly-incorrect practice of brazenly walking to places like the grocery store. Naturally, this is preferably accomplished via sidewalks. Naturally, suburbia persists in its relentless mission to kill me by blocking off said sidewalks. This is due to the ongoing efforts to rehabilitate the thoroughfare known as Yonge Street (AKA
Suburban Status Report 20231203 Read More »
My ongoing subversive plot to get kicked out of suburbia continues to bear fruit. Yesterday, a Municipal Enforcement and Community Standards Officer paid a visit to follow up on a complaint. I suspect the snitch was the same neighbour who ratted out my non-compliant cats. Anyhow, the egregious offence is the Lift-Rite that lives in
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For more than 140 days, all the lights have been on in the house behind me. Every single bulb is ablaze 24/7. The house is for sale and has been on the market since last October, with at least one changeover of real estate contract that I am aware of. It is not a bad
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The thermometer outside my bedroom window fell to its death on the patio below the other day. I am not sure if it jumped or if it was pushed. I must admit it was not the most accurate temperature measurer, except for first thing in the morning when the sun had not yet climbed high
Suburban Status Report 20210502 Read More »
It really wasn’t my fault. I did not intend to get on the wrong side of the law. But it happened none-the-less. It all started sometime after the pandemic showed up. In addition to a virus gone viral, COVID-19 also brought people to suburbia. In the “before time,” at approximately 7:12 each morning, the suburbanite
Suburban Status Report 20200521 Read More »
I sat outside on my deck in the sunshine a few days ago, when April was behaving a little better than right now, reading the New Yorker while freezing my ass off but stubbornly clinging to the notion that being outside was better than being inside. My all-weather fake-o wicker loveseat emerged from the winter
Suburban Status Report 20200423 Read More »
It’s pretty much business as usual around here, in the cozy bedrooms north of civilization. Which is to say, as usual, there is rampant inaccessibility, unavailability, and inedibility. Follow along with the bouncing ball, if you will. There is a bus that goes from Newmarket to the Toronto Yorkdale subway station and back. This bus
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This morning, my walk to the gym started in fog. I mean the weather, not my brain, but actually my brain was in fact doing its best to complement the weather. It is Saturday, after all. It is just past nine, after all. The grass in front of the houses along the road has turned
