I am a serial killer. The mangled bodies are lined up on the light summer cover that lies on top of my bed, leaving drops of blood where they put up a fight. The most annoying sound in the world is not a jackhammer crew at six in the morning or fingernails on a blackboard […]
Revenge of the Carnivores Read More »
I have a cat litter box at the cottage. Or actually, it’s worse than that. I have two cat litter boxes. I have two litter boxes because the best practice is one box per cat, presumably so each cat can have their own private commode. Except in my case, they choose to use one as
This morning, my walk to the gym started in fog. I mean the weather, not my brain, but actually my brain was in fact doing its best to complement the weather. It is Saturday, after all. It is just past nine, after all. The grass in front of the houses along the road has turned
A small plastic ball with a bell inside it makes an excellent alarm clock, especially if your alarm has been set for 4:35 in the morning. Kind of like buying a drum kit for a three-year-old, buying toys for cats that make a noise is ill-advised at best and sleep-depriving at worst. I just got
The Winter of Feline Discontent Read More »
In case you didn’t know this, Pantone, the people who invented the paint colour chart, are also in charge of annual colour trend predictions for fashion. A few years ago, it was lots of Acai, Samba and Turbulence (the latter of which inexplicably is a kind of a blue colour – I would have expected
You never know when your last cottage lake swim is your last cottage lake swim. I don’t mean the “swims” that can happen any time (whether ill-advised or not) when exiting the sauna. I mean the swims that are self-initiated and un-sauna assisted (whether ill-advised or not), starting with the May gasp of “It feels
The kitchen light at the cottage has burned out. Just the kitchen light bulb, actually, since no light fixture has graced it yet. This required a fourteen-foot ladder to be brought into the kitchen complete with various vestiges of circular sawing detritus. At least we have a fourteen-foot ladder. And now we have a new
I think it’s going to be a long, long time Read More »
Welcome to The Lakeview Room Treetops, SML Township of Georgian Bay, District of Muskoka Your Premium Accommodations are ready for your enjoyment. Here are some things that will help you enjoy your stay: 1. Choose the towel of your choice from the towel tower in the main bathroom. If you don’t like this towel for
Welcome to the Lakeview Room Read More »
Downsview Park is not a park and has no view. Discuss. Maybe that’s not entirely true. From the GO train upper level you can see the CN tower way in the distance, like a beacon of refuge for suburbanites yearning for food from a menu that isn’t laminated or on a sign over the counter
The 905 is the nickname based on the area code for the suburban sprawl that stretches East, West and North of Toronto and smacks up against the border of the 519 and 705 (area codes that used to be in the ‘are you nuts?’ category of commuting consideration but are now the new normal coordinates
Alice in Wonderland Read More »
